Ok, so I was born in Colorado and then at nine months old, my family moved to Texas, where I resided until just last summer, when I turned 36 and shortly thereafter moved to Alabama.
All my life I've been messed with about my 'heritage' - "real Texans" tell me that I'm not a Texan, not having been born there! My Colorado cousins, Catholic saints that they think they are, say I'm not a Coloradoan, as I only spent nine months living there!
So I reach a point in life where I finally just say 'Screw you!' and decide that I am a Texan, a Southerner - as I've spent most of my entire life there.
So then I met this hillbilly about fifteen years ago, and began dating him. Well, ya'll! He's cute!
He is from the lovely state of Alabama.
After several years with this man, he so graciously enlightens me that I am NOT a Southerner!
I go whining to my mother with this information, and she confirms it to be true. Wha?!
Not a yankee, not a southerner, not a Texan, not a Coloradoan......well, hell's bells, ya'll! This is gettin' sad!
Who in the heck am I?