Ok, now say that in THE MOST NASAL VOICE YOU HAVE....
"I wonder why nobody steals those tricycles!" *nasal* *nasal* *nasal*
And now you know exactly what my creepy but ever-so-lovely first-born child sounded like the other night!
I really would have smacked him --- if he wasn't so damn funny when he's being mean! Gaw! How can a momma win?????
Ok, let me set the stage...
We are driving through our precious small town, that I so dearly love, (I've dreamed of living in a small town since I was a little girl - but, that's neither here nor there) on our way to do some kid-swapping. We were set to meet Cousin Kim and Aunt Imelda in the parking lot of a pizza joint/bar so that Aunty Em could return Sammie to us and we could return Cousin David to his momma, Cousin Kim.
So we arrive at said establishment. (It is a pretty neat joint - it's called a Mountain Pub - cool!)
[Oh no - I sound like the nerd I am even here (the words 'neat' and 'joint' - eeks!) - please, don't tell Patrick about this blog....he must never, ever find The Hippie Spelunker - it will be our little secret, ok? Thanks!]
So, anyhoo, we pull into the parking lot of this really cool Mountain Pub, that looks somewhat like a mountain cabin, and is set against a backdrop of woods containing 50ft. trees. (Sounds pretty nice, eh? I could possibly just move in there!) And as I am pulling the car around, I see something I've never noticed before, as I've never actually been to the Pub, only driven past it. So getting a close-up view, by driving right up to it, I notice two tricycles on the patio, one each on either side of the front door.
These trikes were COOL, ya'll! Seriously! I mean, I'm thinking they are from about the 50's. Rad! Right? Yeah - that's what I thought, too!
And then I thought, unfortunately - out loud, "I wonder why nobody steals those tricycles."
I mean, they do appear to be just sitting there - and this Pub is right on the highway.
You know - like, do people steal pumpkins from pumpkin patches? Or Christmas trees from tree lots? Just one of those -wonder's- that everyone has...
When from the back seat comes Mr. Nasal:
*nasal* *nasal* "I wonder why nobody steals those tricycles!" *nasal* *nasal*
Amid the RAUCOUS laughter (yes, some of it from me) he proceeds to tell me that I am a dork, and only nerds would care about something like that, and tricycles are dumb, yada yada yada
Through snorts of laughter, I defiantly declare, "But Patrick, they're VINTAGE!"
His cousin tries to explain to him that vintage means they're antiques, and that means people find them valuable, but, it's just too late - the 'let's-laugh-at-my-mom-cuz-she's-a-nerd' mood had taken over!
I was laughing so hard and I was mocking his mockery repeatedly - it was just too funny!
It's really sad when someone is so viciously mean and yet, they are so damn funny - that even the poor victim can't stop laughing!!!!
Anyway, David explained to us that the tricycles were, in fact, bolted down.