Sunday, November 18, 2007

I demanded that God let me keep her!

And He gave in! That's right - I got in God's face and screamed at him, "No, not this one, you can't take this one!!!!" And then I went horizontal for a month - which is no easy task with a 1 1/2 year old and a 2 1/2 year old to take care of - but, I was determined, so we made it work!

Let me back up a little bit here. I had my first child on 9-22-93 and then I had my second child on 9-22-94, pretty crazy, I know. If you were reading in September, you already know all about that. Not too long after my second child was born, though - I had a miscarriage. That was in January 1995. And then in April 1995, I miscarried again.

And then March 1996 rolls around and I highly suspect that I am pregnant. And then the unthinkable happens - I can feel the miscarriage starting to happen. I will never forget sitting down at my kitchen table and yelling at God. I was sitting there yelling and crying - "No God! You can't take this one!"

And God changed His mind. I believe that with every single bit of me. Some people say that's silly, that God already has his plans made, his decisions are final. But you know what, my God is my friend, and I think that day we negotiated, and here is the outcome:
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Ain't she gorgeous?? (She was cold, on her way outside to catch the bus.)

So yeah, that horizontal thing - that was tough! I had two little monsters to take care of, not to mention, dishes, laundry, and all that fun stuff. This is what we did. I really did stay horizontal for the better part of a month. I laid around with the boys while they played, even taking them outside, where I laid upon a blanket in the grass. I'd sit up to change a diaper, or I'd get up to go potty myself, but, that was it. I guess I got up at breakfast and lunch and grabbed us a really simple meal. And then Mark did dinner. And he also did all of the other stuff - he went grocery shopping, he did the dishes, he did the laundry, basically, if it was a job that I could not do lying down - he did it.

After that first month, I slowly but surely began to get up more and more. And I eventually gave birth to my precious, 9lb 7 1/3oz baby girl 'Beauty Queen'. And I fell head over heels in love with her! I was so taken with her. It came as a real surprise to me the depth of my love for her, because, I always knew I would be good with boys - and I just was never sure if I had it in me to raise a girl. I do, and I have, and I continue to do so.

I'll continue this saga in another post and tell you all about her fun day last week!
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